Our Voices
My Community
I can't speak for the African American community as a whole but I can speak on what I know. I know in my community fir some of us religion is huge portions of who we are. I was raised in the church and went to church every Sunday growing up. Another part of our community is our families. Growing up family meant everything to me. From my grandparents to my siblings and extended family.
I always loved my family and shared everything with them to be honest. I was/am extremely close with my grandmother. We've had an amazing relationship for as long as I can remember. She is a very wise women and has endured a lot in her life. She has six amazing kids who make up my uncles and aunt that I love dearly. One of my uncles, Ricky, he wasn't around a lot. When I was younger I never thought much of it or understood why. I realized one summer that my Uncle's 'friend' Felipe, was more then his friend.
I'm not going to speak on someone else's story but, I will say that once I realized my uncle had a partner it changed my perspective on my family. I've always understood my family to be perfect. Even with my uncle's little presents in my childhood. To do this day I don't completely understand the relationship my grandparents relationship with my uncle but, I know its a large factor in why my uncle isn't around.
My grandparents are deeply rooted by their faith and raised their children in the same manner. It's why my mother brought and integrated faith into my childhood. It's also why I encountered challenges when it came to me facing my sexuality.
Development of Sexuality
Sexuality involves social and family interactions. How we define gender and sexuality all starts when we're children and is affected by the people around us. The conversations and the ideals of those around us influence our own ideals and help us create our own.
Heteronormativity
denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation.
The action of coming out is an action that was built on the ideals of heterosexual relationships. The needs to come out is apart of our culture because in our culture as a whole we're all assumed to be straight, cis, people.
Now, in the African American community the relationship with the LGBTQ+ community has been a-challenging one. I can't speak on my community as a whole but, I know the death of black transwomen and transmen still occurs. The disownment of the young men and women still occurs.
The underlying reason behind this negative reaction from member's of the African American community I don't know. I know in my family it was frowned upon because it conflicts with our religion. I know that members in my family
Coming Out
Social Experience
Coming out in school ended up being worse then I thought it'd be. I thought life would move on and it wouldn't affect me. I also didn't realize the magnitude of what coming out on a complete public scale truly would do. It labeled me in ways I wasn't ready to combat. I was put in a box before I even had a chance to look at all the boxes.
Family Experience
Coming out to my family was the hardest thing I've ever done. I still remember crying in the car when I told my aunt. I was so scared of rejection it made it fearful of be honest. Now, that I'm older I've excepted the fact that everyone isn't perfect even my family. I love my grandparents and would never speak ill on them so, I'm okay with ideals. I understand their beliefs and respect their ideals. Even if it means hiding a part of myself I'll continue to make that sacrifice.
Gender Expression and Sexuality
We all are exposed to gender expression at a young age. Our parents are the first ones to influence and define gender for us. As we get older we start to define gender for ourselves and I did that journey alone.
The LGBTQ+ community has a lot of labels. Some people find comfort in these labels but, honestly they just made me more confused. Just as society has expectations of what a women should be the LGBTQ+ community has expectations on what a lesbian should be.
My First Love
Love is a powerful feeling. It'll have you do and endure crazy things just to please another person, please yourself. My first love was amazing and in my eyes they could do no wrong. I went a long time hating them after we broke up but, later on I found comfort in our story. By dating them I was able to start to define my gender expression for myself. I stopped looking to others to define who I am. I'm able to be honest with myself about my sexuality because of them too. Their family was so accepting and caring when I first came out when it felt like I lost everything. That relationship showed me what love was for the first time. It was the first time I truly experienced loved and was completely honest about my sexuality. They are an amazing person and I still talk to them from time to time. We had a crazy story and one that had a lot of bumps in the road. Without that relationship and without meeting them I may have never came out. I may have hidden and lied to myself longer then I already was. I added this small part because I feel like that relationship has a lot to do with who I am now. It influenced my gender expression, my identity within the LGBTQ+ community and obviously my sexuality.
Intersectionality
Intersectionality is an analytical framework for understanding how aspects of a person's social and political identities combine to create different modes of discrimination and privilege.
My community is more then just the African American community. I'd say I'm a feminist leaning women and a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community. All these communities intertwine and they've created the person I am today.No one aspects of my identities is more important then another they all equally impact my life.
Now
You've reached the end of my story. This page is my everything. I'm proud of the women I am today and the challenges I've endured have made the person I am now. I wouldn't have been able to do it with the people who have been in my life. I added a photo gallery to show the different significant people in who've been in my life who got me here today. Some of them are no longer in my life and our stories have ended but, they've still impacted my life in beautiful ways. You can click on the other tabs to explore the other women who decided to share their stories as well. Everyone has contact information on their pages if you want to reach out. I hope my site helps those feeling their alone in this battle because, you aren't.
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